My people are dying and you’re still concerned about my natural hair
The last few weeks have weighed heavily on me. My community is hurting and dying, and there seems to be no end. The Black community, my community, is being infected and dying at an alarming rate. The Black community, my community, is being murdered at an alarming rate. The Black community, my community, is being shot at, pepper-sprayed, arrested, and tasered for peacefully protesting at an alarming rate. And during a meeting last week, a coworker felt it fitted to comment on my natural hair and that I have changed it quite a bit in quarantine.
I have generally tried hard not to let what is going in the world affect my work. But the last few weeks have been harder they have ever been. On top of being home and watching, the numbers of cases of COVID-19 positives and deaths in my community continue to rise and feeling helpless to do anything about it. And now, after the murders of Ahmaud Arbery, George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, and the protest around the country, I am tapped out. I can’t pretend like nothing is going on in the world as I login to work. I feel everything, and I am exhausted. Things I would have never done previously, like wearing my natural hair has become a shield for me.
So the fact that in a meeting with several other coworkers that instead of asking how I was doing or acknowledging the current climate, you commented on my natural hair that had gone from a braid out, to twists, to a twist out in a couple of weeks. It took all of me not to something back; instead, I responded well I have to do something with my hair while staying at home.
She is a supposed ally. Instead of using her voice to express concern about what is going on or ask me how I am doing, she chose to comment on the natural hair that is growing out of my head. This is not the allyship that we need during this time. This is the subtle racism perpetuating the system that has created this moment of constant fear, prosecution, and murder of my Black brothers and sisters.
There are so many layers of anti-blackness and racism in our country. Not all of them are as overt as killing us but as subtle as asking me how many times I will change my hair in a couple of weeks. Not all will immediately kill, but together these micro-aggressions contribute to the situation we are in right now.
