Dad’s Leadership Lessons 2
This next leadership lesson from my dad is one that I was reminded of while at the Comerica Women's Business Symposium last Friday. I was listing to the last speaker of the day, Reshma Saujani of Girls Who Code. She had spoken about the women's battle with perfectionism, how it is something that we are taught from an early age and how it keeps us from being able to reach our full potential. At the end of her talk she lays out three simple starts we can all do to flex our bravery muscle.
Practice imperfection
Do something you suck at
Just start
Reshma's third point is the one that hit home for me. My dad was one that believed in just starting, but not only that but that you should put real intention behind everything you start and see it as something that you can constantly improve upon. And it was something that was ingrained into our childhoods from a young age in many forms.
I remember that I was in 5th grade, and my four-foot self decided I wanted to play basketball; it was never a question to him as to why I wanted to do this it was simply let's do this. He bought me a basketball the next morning and signed me up for one-on-one training sessions with him every Wednesday. He knew I was the smallest on the team and that I was not the perfect example of a basketball player, but that didn't mean I couldn't be the most skilled person on the team. We practiced every Wednesday evening, with my six-foot dad blocking my shots and teaching me how to effectively take up space to rebound a missed shot.
At some point after many tears, I master my consistent free throw, learned to dribble left-handed, and had a consistent 3-point shot, not bad if I dos say so myself. I can only say I got there because he would never let me quit. Every time I would want to quit after a bad game or not getting to start, he would say, "Quit? Just because you don't think you're not good enough? You are in for a surprise in life; there are going to be many things in life that you are not good at. Think about it. You are smart enough to come up with a better answer than quitting." Then I would get back to practicing and practice harder than before. Usually when I came back from my moment of wanting to quit he would remind me that even those I deemed to be perfect at their craft only look that way because they don't rest on their laurels but continue to improve and that everyone at some point started out not good.
He believed that if you gave 100% to everything you do that, in the end, you would be a better fit than the person that you thought was perfect for it because you have worked for it, and you have shown that you will continue to work for it. It was also an excellent lesson to learn while I was still young because I was able to continue to practice this mentality throughout high school and college so that when I got into the big adult world, I became pretty fearless when it came to new opportunities.
I thank my dad for teaching me to stop looking for perfection in myself and in others. Perfection keeps us from trying new things and going on new adventures. He taught me to see the potential instead. Now when looking for new partners or interns, I don't look for a perfect fit but someone who can learn and grow, because honestly, that perfection isn't real. It allows me as a leader to search for something better than perfection, continued improvement. I rather have someone on my team that is willing to continue improving and learning their job, because that person reminds me that I can continue to improve as well because no one is ever perfect.
