Dad’s Leadership Lessons 3

One of the earliest games my dad taught my sister was dominoes. It was the game played at family reunions and other family gatherings, and the game was always played to win, and family bragging rights were necessary. The way you keep score in dominoes is that the ends of boards are added up, and if the ends add up to a multiple of 5 (5, 10, 15, etc.), then you call out that number, and its added to your overall score for the game. In a good game with family, there is plenty of yelling, slamming dominoes on the table to signify brilliant strategy executed for optimum points, and loss of trust in partners who make terrible strategic moves that cause people to lose.

The process of learning was consistent with anything else, you learned with training wheels so you could gain the strategy, and then one day, the training wheels were off. I remember that day just like it was yesterday. It was a typical Sunday with my dad, which always included a few hands of dominoes to keep our skills sharp. But this game was different, as my dad dealt the dominoes out he told me that he would no longer keep score for me, and if I wanted to get on the scoreboard, I would have to call out my points myself. When I asked why he was doing that, his answer was something that has stuck with me ever since “in the real world no one keeps track of your score or your wins but you.” 

He was teaching me even at a young age that keeping score of your victories and being comfortable proclaiming your victories should be just as easy as keeping score in dominoes. So many times, we think that everyone else is noticing and keeping track of our achievements, but they are simply not. 

My dad was never a man to brag about what he accomplished, but he did have a way of letting everyone know what his accomplishments where. He realized that people’s memories fade, and they forget what you been able to achieve. But you can be wise with how you keep those accomplishments in view. 

His words have stuck with me and have helped guide me through advocating for myself as I grow into the professional I know he would be proud to see me become. I tend to be on the more introverted side and not always the best advocate for myself because it felt like bragging, but his words help me think of this from a different perspective. It’s now like keeping score in dominoes, not bragging but speaking in terms of what is on the board so that others know that your good strategy paid off. 

But more importantly, for me, it has taught me the importance of putting on the accomplishments training wheels for others. It reminds me to keep score and proclaim other’s victories while they are learning to declare their own and lead by example.